#iHunt: Mayhem in Movieland

Lana hunts monsters for a living. She absolutely hates hunting ghosts. So, of course, a friend is calling in a favor and having her hunt a ghost. Not just any ghost, but Old Anne, an urban legend at Movieland, a theme park inspired by the golden age of Hollywood.

Worse off, Lana used to work at Movieland, and was fired after she had a… little incident killing three vampires on park property. So in addition to hunting ghosts—which she doesn’t want to do—she has to sneak around and not get noticed by her former coworkers.

Check out this quick snippet:

The park has three parades a day throughout the week. These are terrible if you’re a family with a stroller trying to get from point A to point B, B for bathroom, of course—you basically have to wait twenty minutes and hope your kid doesn’t shit her pants. Spoiler alert: She does shit her pants, and it stinks in the hot California sun. They’re great if you’re a criminal or a monster hunter trying to get from the scene of your crime to literally anywhere else where eyes aren’t on you.

I dodge through the crowd, pushing and waving and swerving through person after person. They’re gawking over some mimes on stilts. I’m trying to take my rightfully stolen human skull somewhere I can sit and process what I just did. There’s nowhere to sit in this damned place—every bench has someone on it, every chair has someone sitting there and their kids climbing on them, and everything else is just standing room space. So I choose point B. The ladies’ room.

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“Alas, poor Anna. I knew her, Karen, a lady of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.” I sit in the bathroom stall and hold the skull up, looking her in the eyes. I consider sending Karen that in a text message, but I figure she probably won’t get the joke. Then I realize I’m holding a skull for no reason in particular.

I’ve got to do something with her. Why did I even move her? What in the fuck is going on with me right now?

I look around the stall. I notice the vent shaft above my head. I pop off the cover and store Old Anna for the time being, that way I can’t get caught smuggling human remains. That’s got to be a felony, right? Coupled with the drugs in my purse, that’s liable to end up a life sentence.

You know what? I’m sending her the damned text, whether she gets the joke or not. The joke’s really for me anyway.

I pull out my phone and as I tap my message app, I get a message from Karen.

Lana you’ve gotta get back to the theater, quick. There’s some shit going down.

Because of fucking course there is.

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Mayhem in Movieland is book 3 of #iHunt, but is completely stand alone story and available on Amazon.

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